Email
Karen
Phone (65)
9816 5651
| Grief
and Loss By Karen Gosling, counseling Director |
|
 In this series of real-life case studies, Karen Gosling recounts client stories compiled from Gosling International's files. The permission of clients has been obtained to present these case histories. Names and places used have been changed to protect cilent privacy. |
| Introduction | |
| Marcia,
a single woman in her 20's, was referred for counseling by her doctor,
to whom she had gone with feelings of depression. She had been working
in Singapore for 6 months, but had recently returned to Australia
to attend the funeral of an old boyfriend who had died unexpectedly,
and his family had contacted her to advise of his death. Since returning
to Singapore Marcia found that there was "lots of crying, lots of
sadness, and not getting on with things". |
|
| Marcia also described feeling isolated and alone, and believed that nobody understood her or her feelings. In fact, she herself did not understand her feelings - she had, after all, broken up with this boyfriend 2 years earlier, and got on with her life since then, so why these strange reactions to his death and funeral? | |
| She was unable to understand why she was having such mood swings, doing well one day and the next spending the day weeping. She felt the need to talk to someone, yet did not want to burden her new friends in Singapore about talk of an old boyfriend in Australia who had now died. | |
 |
|
| 's assessment | |
| The
counselor helped Marcia identify that this was indeed the first death
of a significant person in her life that she had experienced, and
that the feelings of grief were new to her. Whilst she was no longer
in a relationship with her old boyfriend, he had for 2 years been
a very significant person to her, and his death had resurrected feelings
of closeness that they had shared and lost, also the loss of plans
and dreams they had had for the future. |
|
|
|
| Work done in counseling | |
| The
death of someone young usually brings the response, "what a waste",
particularly if the person has (or has had) a place of importance
in your life. The counselor explained that seeing the young man's
family again at the funeral, a family in which she was quite involved
for 2 years, also brought about feelings of loss. Marcia was able
to recognize then that she was grieving the loss of many things that
had been significant to her and not just the death of her old boyfriend. |
|
| With
any loss comes reactions of grief, and the counselor normalized Marcia's
responses by providing an information sheet outlining the common reactions
to grief. Common feelings are guilt, yearning that things could have
been different, self-reproach, intense sadness, and a myriad of physical
symptoms, like sleep disturbance, pains, fatigue, and a preoccupation
with the death (loss) event. |
|
|
|
| Outcome | |
 |
|
|
Karen Gosling is counseling Director at Gosling International. She is a graduate of the University of South Australia and holds a Master of Public Health from the University of Adelaide. Karen is a Registered Social Worker in Singapore and is a member of the Australian Association of Social Workers and the Singapore Association of Social Workers. Gosling International is a leading emotional leadership consultancy based in Singapore, serving committed clients worldwide. Goslings mission is one of education and empowerment; to elevate emotional well-being. Gosling International provides face-to-face, telephone and email emotional leadership consultations for individuals, couples, and family groups. If you want a professional to help you with behavioural change or deal with your emotional distress, personal problems, or are simply troubled by your feelings, phone Karen or Mike Gosling on (65) 6281-5157. Consulting
Rooms (by appointment): |