Karen Gosling, Counselling Director

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Phone (65) 9816 5651
 Coping with Infidelity - The Discovery
By Karen Gosling, counseling Director

In this series of real-life case studies, Karen Gosling recounts client stories compiled from Gosling International's files. The permission of clients has been obtained to present these case histories. Names and places used have been changed to protect cilent privacy.
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Fran had started to notice that Prem was more irritable, spent less time with her and was often on his hand phone - sometimes late at night. Prem explained that a large overseas project he was supervising meant he needed to spend more time away from home. Fran trusted her husband so tried to give him a stable home life to support him in his stressful job. One day, after chatting to friends about their relationship, her suspicions were aroused - perhaps there could be a third person involved. After reading Prem's emails, and finding some personal ones from an unknown woman, she experienced tremors of her lips and hands, nausea, profuse sweating, and rapid breathing. She later confronted Prem about her findings and he confirmed her fears were true; he had been unfaithful. Fran called Karen in desperation - she felt immense weakness in her body and thought she was going crazy
Karen's assessment

Fran was experiencing an immediate emotional trauma - an emotional aftershock (stress reaction) precipitated by the discovery that Prem had betrayed her. Her shock and disbelief at Prem's infidelity was too powerful for her to manage by herself.

Work done in counseling

Karen helped Fran to understand the physical (physiological) impact of her trauma on her body. Fran had experienced fully the pain of Prem's betrayal and once the stress reaction passed, decided to undergo relationship counseling with Prem to restore her marriage.
Outcome
By not trying to fight her recurring thoughts, dreams, and flashbacks of the discovery, Fran was able to maintain as normal a schedule as possible. She was willing to forgive Prem and through couple counseling came to accept and understand what had happened and began the long road back to rebuilding her trust in her husband.
Karen's advice for moving forward

Experiencing a traumatic event, such as the discovery of infidelity, will cause you stress - negative emotion felt in your body. The signs and symptoms from a stress reaction may last for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, and occasionally longer - depending on the severity of the traumatic event. Often the traumatic event is so painful that professional assistance from a may be necessary.

Karen Gosling is counseling Director at Gosling International. She is a graduate of the University of South Australia and holds a Master of Public Health from the University of Adelaide. Karen is a Registered Social Worker in Singapore and is a member of the Australian Association of Social Workers and the Singapore Association of Social Workers.

Gosling International  is a leading emotional leadership consultancy based in Singapore, serving committed clients worldwide. Goslings mission is one of education and empowerment; to elevate emotional well-being.

Gosling International provides face-to-face, telephone and email emotional leadership consultations for individuals, couples, and family groups. If you want a professional to help you with behavioural change or deal with your emotional distress, personal problems, or are simply troubled by your feelings, phone Karen or Mike Gosling on (65) 6281-5157.

Consulting Rooms (by appointment):
21A Serangoon Garden Way, Singapore 556065
Mobile: +65 9816-5651 Email: @goslings.net

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