Email
Karen
Phone (65)
9816 5651
| Self-esteem
By Karen Gosling, counseling Director |
|
 In this series of real-life case studies, Karen Gosling recounts client stories compiled from Gosling International's files. The permission of clients has been obtained to present these case histories. Names and places used have been changed to protect cilent privacy. |
| Introduction | |
| Barry, in senior
management with a British company, came to counseling to explore
his mood swings. He was 37 and had been married for nearly 6 years
to a 'warm and wonderful person'. There were no children yet, and
the couple was wondering about the right time for having children.
His wife also worked with the company and both had come to Singapore
six months earlier from the UK. |
|
| Barry described
himself as fairly conservative and not a risk taker, and said that
sometimes he couldn't believe he had accepted a job here in Singapore.
He had never lived abroad and previously had never even visited Asia.
In describing his problems, Barry said that sometimes he felt OK and
reasonably good about himself, but that these good feelings gave way
frEQuently to incredible depression and feelings of hopelessness and
despair, that he often felt 'not good enough', and 'not worthy'. He
had experienced these feelings before, but he felt they were more
intense and more frEQuent since coming to Singapore. He commented,
"I'm not the person I thought I would turn out to be" and "I'm disappointed
in myself". |
|
| On questioning, Barry admitted that he had occasionally felt suicidal, but that he did not really believe that he would ever carry out a suicidal action. "Usually when I have the negative feelings I don't have the energy to do anything about it, and when I feel more energetic, I reconsider, and think I will get on with life." | |
 |
|
| 's assessment | |
| The
identified quickly that Barry was suffering from a low
self-esteem, and that his critical view of himself has escalated since
arriving in Singapore in a senior position and on a good salary (which
he felt was too high for the actual work he was doing!). Barry was
able to remember many incidents from earlier life and childhood that
had helped create his low self esteem and was amazed that he had not
identified it himself. |
|
| The
explained that identifying the problem is an important
first step to doing something about it, and dealing with the destructive
negative emotions. |
|
|
|
| Work done in counseling | |
| The
helped Barry to identify the judgmental and critical thoughts
about himself that he was finding so disturbing, and taught him strategies
to cope with them as they arose. |
|
| Barry
was able to recognize that the thoughts were not constant, but seemed
to be present at unpredictable times, in both work and social situations.
In time, he was able to identify the negative feelings for what they
were and control the devastating impact of them promptly. |
|
|
|
| Outcome | |
|
|
| May 2000 - Barry writes | |
|
Karen - Our work together was a critical intervention in a vicious cycle of poor self-esteem, negative feelings and depression and I am very grateful for your help (as is Louise). I
have changed my role at work twice since we last spoke and feel
very much more competent and in control, although I still have my
rocky days (who dosen't?). |
|
|
|
|
Karen Gosling is counseling Director at Gosling International. She is a graduate of the University of South Australia and holds a Master of Public Health from the University of Adelaide. Karen is a Registered Social Worker in Singapore and is a member of the Australian Association of Social Workers and the Singapore Association of Social Workers. Gosling International is a leading emotional leadership consultancy based in Singapore, serving committed clients worldwide. Goslings mission is one of education and empowerment; to elevate emotional well-being. Gosling International provides face-to-face, telephone and email emotional leadership consultations for individuals, couples, and family groups. If you want a professional to help you with behavioural change or deal with your emotional distress, personal problems, or are simply troubled by your feelings, phone Karen or Mike Gosling on (65) 6281-5157. Consulting
Rooms (by appointment): |