Neil was experiencing the physical symptoms of accumulated stress felt in his body - in fact he feared having a heart attack. He had felt a heaviness in his arm and an ache in his thigh muscle. He experienced recurring headaches, sleep disturbance, "buzzing" chest and pounding heart, feeling his arms and hands vibrating, and at times difficulty in breathing. Occasionally he noticed tingling in the fingers and toes - "sort of like pins and needles but not quite".

I reassured Neil that these symptoms were not a heart attack but the physiological effects of stress. He could identify quickly the negative spiral he was on. He felt bad whenever he felt criticized, nagged, or a pathetic father (which he frequently did on weekends as he was too fatigued to do much with the kids). He also recognized feelings of being a failure, inadequate, insecure, and unlovable, and that these feelings got worse after an outburst. Neil was glad to get rid of the negativity in his life

When our bodies suffer too many negative experiences without a balance of good feelings, the adrenalin produced in stress begins to accumulate and is stored in the muscles, causing the "uptight" feeling. The ability for the body to recover from stress is then reduced and one tends to remain in this uptight state. Before too long, the smallest stressor (for example, the taxi taking a wrong turn) can cause us to explode! The negative feelings that result from such an outburst simply add to one's stress, leading one further down the negative spiral to lowered self-esteem. Seek counseling when you experience negative feelings, and don't be so short-tempered, Lah!